hamster

A rodent typically under the responsibility of a spastic child drugged up on legal meth because they were diagnosed with ADHD for not wanting to sit in one spot for 8 hours straight.

It sits around making the most retarded and annoying fucking sounds you've ever heard in your life, chews on its cage and attempts to murder any living creature in its immediate vicinity through rapid and autistic biting.

It runs in its stupid ass wheel at the earliest hours of the night. They also usually die in the most random and vile ways imaginable.

Hamster eyeballs are also useful for boba, which is why boba is not vegan.

Suzie: What happened to your hamster?

Marie: Oh, she escaped her cage and disappeared for a while, we found her next to our dog bowl. She escaped and somehow got into the ventilation, we had the heat on because it's winter, and it ended up cooking her alive. Then our dog somehow got a hold of her and left her near its bowl, then my dad picked it up thinking it was a burnt potato, and he loves burnt potatoes but it didn't look burnt enough to him. So he put her in the microwave for a bit too long until her body fucking exploded. We ended up paying our respects by using her eyes for boba which were somehow still in tact after all that.

Suzie: Boba does sound good right now.