touch wieners

Figurative term used to describe the act of making amends after two men have a scuffle or disagreement. It often is accompanied with a simple hand gesture where the tips of both index fingers are put together in a gentle way. In rare instances, when one man wants to make amends, he will initiate the reconciliation by making the gesture to the other man pleadingly. (Beware: writer doesn't suggest this method for the potential danger of getting one's ass kicked.)

NOTE: The term also works quite well when it's involving 1 man and a butch woman OR 2 butch women.

GIRL: Man, Jeff and Gary were really pissed at each other on Friday. I hope they don't wind up fighting at work tomorrow.

GUY: No, it's cool now. Jeff took Gary out for a couple beers on Saturday night to touch wieners* and talk it out. They're good friends again.

* This is where the guy could add the hand gesture, if he felt so inclined

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Particle Sweat

An extremely unpleasant-smelling combination of anal cleft perspiration and the residuals of high-frequency flatulence (usually travel-related). The phenomenon usually occurs when one is confined to a seat for long periods of time (such as on an airline, bus, train, or jury duty).

The majority of cases are clear and colorless, though extreme cases can take on a more opaque hue.

My flight to New Zealand was 13 hours straight. I was soaking in a puddle of particle sweat by the time we touched ground.

Airport Shit

A particularly heinous specimen of feces most commonly observed in airports as a result of traveling - specifically, the result of a departure from region-based eating habits and patterns.

Damn, Doug. Next time you need to use the bathroom that badly, don't do it in my house. Walk over to the public library or something to drop an airport shit like that.