Sicilian

Italians from the island of Sicily. Sicilians do not consider themselves Italians, but a separate subculture. The people of mainland Italy, and the rest of the world as a whole, consider Sicilians the trash of Europe. The men of Sicily are full of bravado but are, in actuality, pussies. They preen and fuss over their appearance like self-indulgent teenage girls, all the while avoiding anything remotely resembling manual labor. The women of Sicily are not much better, as they sprout hair all over their bodies at about the age of 25 (see mustache and back hair). Unfortunately, no one has explained to the Sicilians how worthless they are and they continue to wrongly believe they are sexy and virile.

When visiting Sicily, do not carry anything of value as it will probably be stolen by a gang or lone individual carrying a weapon. They will not attack unless guaranteed to succeed through overwhelming numbers or firearms. And do not count on any help from the police since they are criminals as well. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE SHOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH A SICILIAN MALE! Any woman who does so will be used as a punching bag or ticket out of the slum before being unceremoniously dumped.

Female Tourist: "Help, I'm being robbed!"
Sicilian Male: "Once I finish looking in the mirror and adjusting my sunglasses I'll be sure to run away as fast as I can."

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