fanny jacket

Noun. A dense and widepread growth of pubic hair in close/medium proximity to a fanny. This apparel is often sported by Eastern European power field event athletes and gains its name from the large dense weave that is reminiscent of a winter overcoat

As Gretna grunted and hurled the hammer for the last time in her Olympic career, the men in the crowd winced as a an ample wedge of fanny jacket peered out of the bottom of her lycra bicycle shorts

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butt monkey

1. A person of anal disposition, esp. one who partakes in homesexual japery. 2. A mischievous, suspect dishonest or meddlesome gaylord

Marko enjoyed playing the bell end in his village people uniform, he was a real butt monkey

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hoffice

noun - a location primarily used to deceive colleagues and employers into believing that work is being carried out from home. Derived from the words "home" and "office".

Mr. Smith - "I'd like those TPS reports on my desk by Thursday please"
Johnny Fraudulent - "Sure Mr. Smith, I'll complete them in my hoffice tomorrow and email them to you"

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festive malarkey

1) Japery or tomfoolery around the Yuletide period
2) Placing an item of stationary in a teacher's pocket whilst he is unawares

1) Festive malarkey, festive malarkey, dum dum dum dee dum, dum dum dum dee dum (to the tune of Bodger and Badger)
2) I've just festive malarkied Johnny Slap with two pens and a stapler

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