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A person who continually calls their own cell phone to listen to the ringtone
It soon became apparent, the new next door neighbour was a cellabator and in dire need of a music system
219π 63π
Surprise, nocturnal cat attacks in which they fly silently through the air from unknown locations and altitudes before pouncing with full force anywhere on your bed at night.
Jim: "Thanks for letting me spend the night Sally, I always knew this day would come. Your cat is sooo cute! Does he always sleep all day? Sally? Where are you?
Sally: Yes, yes he does Jim. I'm under these six quilts and if you know what's good for you, you'd better do the same.
Jim: Are you kidding me? It's the middle of summer!
Sally: No, no I'm not kidding Jim. I'm sorry to say I have a really bad problem with cat-bombs and most men only stay over once after seeing their faces in the morning.
Jim: Where did you say you were again?
164π 21π
A collection of mostly ex oil industry employees, paid to continually harp and shill about the pristine virtues of ethical oil so clean you could drink it, ad-nauseam, and to ensure that the misguided global warming problems of "other" countries don't slow down the escalating air pollution dreams of The Harp-oil Government's owners, ad-nauseam.
Little Oil: *&^K*!!! we've had another &^%king pipeline rupture again.... It's bad, really ^%$#king bad. What should we do?
Big Oil: No problemmo! I'll just call my boy in charge at the The Harp-Oil Government. He'll get the muzzels on his people and make sure nobody knows a thing about it. If they do, his team will harp on and on about how it was just a good old ethical oil spill, besides, he knows if we don't get we want we won't be bankrolling his next election campaign and he won't be buying those shiny new regime change jets we ordered. Remember, they're working for us."
Little Oil: "I love how you always make everything right!"
Big Oil: "It's not who you know son, it's who you own."
196π 11π
An abnormal, trance like state of mind generally attained after prolonged periods of staring at a Suduko that has reached a point
where you are completely unable to prove another number if your life depended on it.
Bob: Hi Sally, I was just wondering if everything was ok? I saw you from accross the cafe and, well to be honest you've been sitting there for
over and hour and you haven't moved a muscle.
Sally: Huh? Bob! oh Bob! Thanks Bob, I must have had a bad case of Para-Sudoku-Psychosis. I get like that sometimes when I get stuck
on a difficult Sudoku.
144π 5π
When you order a bowl of soup and continue to keep refilling it with free crackers until it eventually becomes "cracker stew."
Jim: I'm starving but I've only got two dollars with me today.
Stan: You can always make cracker stew if you need to stretch your coins in the cafeteria.
123π 19π
A vegetarian that eats meat at BBQ's, weekend dinners and restaurants.
Sally tells everyone she's a vegetarian but after dating her for six weeks I can tell you she's really only a partime-etarian.
214π 30π
The removal of a computer virus that has infected your system to the point where it has become unusable. Often preformed by a person of superior computer knowledge. A geek. Generally but not always associated with a program that continually preforms unsolicited scans of your computer and informs you of numerous fake critical errors that it will gladly repair once you have provided the cyber thieves with your credit card information.
Jim: John, could you stop by when you have a chance. Today?
John: Have you got another computer viris Jim?
Jim: I've got a bad one this time John, really bad! I almost threw my PC off the tenth floor balcony last night. Can you stop by and preform another cyber exorcism for me John?
John: Ok Jim, I stop by later tonight and see what I can do.
Jim: Thanks John! I owe you big time!
141π 4π