Chair Rapist

so one who is so lonely and sexually desperate that they resort to raping a chair

Guy: i'm so lonely even your starting to look good
Josh: stay away from me you chair rapist!

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Shroomy Bastard

someone who uses odd words and phrases usually P.C. terms to disguise what they are doing

Jack: i'll just help you bend over here so i can ascertain the location of this ring so i can just slip it on
Guy: you're raping me! you Shroomy Bastard!