broceries

Essentials that dudes buy at stores (bro groceries.) Examples include beer, shaving cream, Sports Illustrated and condoms.

Dwight: "Where did Kurt go?"
Jon: "He went to pick up some broceries before the game."

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color of darkness

Phrase used to describe the color of an object, usually a brown or black, that cannot be make out in poorly lit situations, and seems invisible. Only when lights are turned on can the true color and existence of the object be confirmed.

Man, I couldn't see the blanket in the closet because it was the color of darkness!

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wooden spoon

A situation where a man is spooning a woman, and suddenly has an erection, in effect poking her in her rear. This is more common in the morning hours and is usually involuntary: essentially popping morning wood while spooning.

Steph was unpleasantly surprised to be awakened by the wooden spoon.

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