Derek Jeter

A contest in which two guys’ rectums are connected with a rubber tube and both guys eat twelve boxes of raisins; the first person to produce enough pressure to burst the other guy’s colon, wins.

Johnny Damon’s colon was non-existent after playing a three-hour game of Derek Jeter with Jason Giambi.

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Jorge Posada

A misshapen scrotum; usually the result of obsessively trying to place your cock up your own ass.

“I really have to stop trying to butt-fuck myself all the time,” said A-Rod, “because I’m getting one heck of a Jorge Posada.”

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