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Mercedes-Benz GL/S

The big Mercedes SUV designed for the American market, the GL/GLS is one of the most popular cars among rich white moms. These gargantuan Benzes are even larger than Range Rovers and match the mammoth proportions of a Cadillac Escalade. Like the Lexus RX, Range Rover, Mercedes-Benz E-Class and Audi A4, these things are everywhere in predominantly white wealthy suburbs, shuttling kids to lacrosse and lugging around Nordstrom bags and Restoration Hardware furniture in the trunk.

The Mercedes-Benz GL/S is Daimler's Range Rover.

by henry1272838442 October 19, 2022

7πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Instagram Makeover

Like a makeover, but instead of changing the way you/someone else's Instagram appears. Some people say that social media is an extension of the person, but I disagree. You can be a great person and have great traits but have a terrible ig. I don't know how else to say it.

Oh my god, who's that new kid?
That's Grayson. He's cute, and he seems nice, but he is in desperate need of an Instagram makeover.

by henry1272838442 January 7, 2023


Mercedes-Benz E-Class

The rich person's Camry. One of Mercedes' most popular models in the US, the E-class is one of the best selling European cars on the market. Everyone from doctors to lawyers has one, and it isn't uncommon to see at least fifteen or twenty in the parking lot of an upscale mall or restaurant. More often than not, they're leased by men having a midlife crisis, and accompany a Lexus RX in the garage. Bonus points if said E-class is parked in the middle of a mall around November/December with a big red bow on the roof.

Since Andrew's wife divorced him, he bought himself a Mercedes-Benz E-Class.

by henry1272838442 October 19, 2022

6πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


White Mercedes

The White Mercedes is another SoCal staple; often times a sedan or SUV, but bonus points if it's a convertible, which is hot as fuck. A white Mercedes sedan with chrome wheels is essentially the Camry of Orange County, and if you had a dollar for every white Mercedes you spotted in or around LA in a day, you could probably buy one of your own in a couple hours. In the 2000s, the white Mercedes of choice for Newport Beach doctors, young celebs in Beverly Hills and "coastal grandmothers" in Malibu was the CLK convertible, which was super fetch while it was still in production. Now it's the G550 or G63, with the S-Class sedan and the E-Class family also being commonplace. Like with the White Range Rover, the White Mercedes is likely to be found sandwiched between an Escalade and a White Lexus at South Coast Plaza, parked in front of a plastic surgeon's office, in the driveway of a hideous McMansion, or in the drive-thru line at Starbucks. A White Mercedes is the ultimate LA status symbol.

God, it seems like everyone and their mom down here has a White Mercedes!

by henry1272838442 March 19, 2023


Mercedes-Benz S-Class

The Mercedes-Benz S-Class is iconic. It is the blueprint for all other luxury sedans, a technological tour de force, and has been the undisputed queen of the segment since it was officially introduced in the 1970s. What do Prince William, Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and Kim Jong-Un have in common? They've all been chauffeured around in the S-class at some point. S-classes can be found on nearly every street corner in cities like New York, Tokyo, Hong Kong and Paris, and they make up a good portion of the $100K+ market in the US along with other status-mobiles like the Land Rover Range Rover and Tesla Model S (ew.)

Everyone from businessmen to heads of state wants an S-class. Even with Rolls-Royce, Maserati, Bentley and Porsche making far more expensive sedans, the S is still taken seriously and wouldn't look out of place parked in front of a royal palace. Quite simply one of, if not the best cars ever made. Every car wishes it could be an S-class when it grows up.

I want nothing more than to listen to some Frank Sinatra in the back of a Mercedes-Benz S-Class in NYC right now.
When I landed in Paris, I was picked up in a Mercedes-Benz S-Class. Take that, peasant.
Diana has both a Range Rover and an S-Class. I love her.

by henry1272838442 September 24, 2022

11πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


BeReal

A new type of social media where at random, you're given two minutes each day to capture a BeReal and 'live in the moment.' No filters and stuff like followers doesn't matter. Most people's BeReals are of them doing boring everyday shit, which is kinda the point of the app.

Time to BeReal!

2 minutes left to capture a BeReal and show the world what you're up to!

by henry1272838442 November 12, 2022

7πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Lexus RX

The official car of Bay Area (especially) Tiger Moms since 1998. Lexus RXs can be seen shuttling little Asian kids to basketball practice, violin lessons, or SAT prep sessions from San Francisco to Silicon Valley. Yes, a lot of people say the RX is a white mom's car, and go to Marin County and you'll see why, but the RX, especially in California, is the Asian mom's car of choice. Bonus points if there are seat covers/plush headrests.

I went to take a practice SAT in San Jose and all the cars in the parking lot were Lexus RXs.

by henry1272838442 October 19, 2022