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Random
When you have Friday off for a three day weekend and take Monday off as well.
I had Friday off for the fourth of July but took a wraparound so I could party it up on Sunday.
8👍 7👎
When you wipe so much that your anus becomes raw.
That White Castle gave me hamburger hole.
4👍 1👎
Personal code of conduct that stipulates one must take a shower if more than three wet wipes are necessary.
Sorry I'm late I had a three wipe rule violation right before I left the house.
When you cross your legs and flex your butt muscles together to hold a dump in because your anal sphincter isn't strong enough.
Dude I had a close call this morning. I broke into a shuffle on the way to the bathroom and had to pause half way to do a flex stop.
Somebody who can detect a shart before it soils their undergarments, thus a avoid shower and other emergency response.
I am always cautious when opening the floodgate for pressure equalization. Over several years, I have developed the wisdom and control of a shartist to avoid unexpected moments of impurity.
When you pee, fart and sneeze simultaneously.
"I hit a mortal trifecta during the hybrid solar eclipse yesterday. It was a once in a lifetime event".
When you pop a dip dipping tobacco in your upper lip.
His lower tray was raw so he embraced top-shelving a beaver pinch.