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Met my deductible

When you've paid for an expensive dinner with your date and now anticipate the rest of the night's entertainment might be free.

Damn. I hoped I had met my deductible paying for dinner and wine at that trendy restaurant, but she then asked me to drop her off at her friends!

by hodags1966 January 17, 2018


Fakebook

Any social media site that irresponsibly allows fake news to be easily and quickly disseminated to hundreds of millions. By doing so, democratic elections are dangerously influenced in favor of candidates and their followers who are willing to lie repeatedly, create or spread outrageous rumors and race-bait. These sites and their purveyors of fake news consequently create an existential crisis for responsible journalism, the people of the United States and, now that I think about it, the entire world.

The owners pathetically claim to simply own an innocent “platform,” an excuse not unlike the owner and manager of a whorehouse claiming to only manage the building itself, oblivious and innocent of the actions occurring in the building, and how it has destroyed the nearby neighborhood, as well as the lives of so many.

“Allow me to answer this one. Mike voted for that cruel, racist psychopathic moron because he learned on Fakebook that the opponent was friends with a brown-skinned woman who routinely lunched with a Muslim.”

by hodags1966 November 11, 2020

13👍 4👎


poor man's lettuce

potato chips on a sandwich

"I always put poor man's lettuce on my sandwiches because potato chips stay crisp a helluva lot longer than stupid lettuce."

"Yeah, exactly. Why buy lettuce that lasts only like 3 days when chips will last weeks?"

by hodags1966 October 18, 2017

39👍 2👎


Thansk

An alternative spelling of "Thanks," commonly occurring at the end of an email. Many grammarians consider "Thansk" a modern-day shibboleth signifying friendship between author and reader. More technically, many grammarians recommend that the author not "correct" this "typo," as it is no longer consider a typo.

"So there's plenty that could happen between now and then. Let's keep in close touch by email or text. Thansk, Ted"

by hodags1966 October 31, 2020

20👍 2👎


Drop the Sharpie

Give up on a losing argument or a bad person

"I'm still waiting for the GOP to drop the sharpie and quit defending Trump's f-ups and crimes."

by hodags1966 September 24, 2019

32👍 1👎


Feather

A father who truly enjoys playing with his very young children for extended periods of time, especially while sober.

Russ: Chris said he had a great time at the Great Wolf Lodge this weekend playing in the pool with his 4-year-old twins.

Ted: And he said he didn't even drink! What a fuckin' feather!

Russ: Yep, sober. He said tossing the beach ball was second most fun next to making waves with his arms.

by hodags1966 November 11, 2020

15👍 2👎


Jump the Fox

Donald Trump's attack of Fox News after his 2020 election loss. This idiom pays homage to Fonzie's infamous shark-jumping on the TV show Happy Days. Just like Fonzie, Trump's action was one too many, and eventually lead to the breakup of the GOP into one camp of gaslighted worshippers and another of people still somewhat tethered to reality.

"Whoa, did Lindsey Graham also jump the Fox? What does Trump and the Russians have on the guy?"

by hodags1966 November 12, 2020

2👍 1👎