Obama to Trump

When a situation goes from good to bad in a matter of seconds, especially if a completely unnecessary turn of events.

"Whoa, dude, what the hell happened last night? Everyone was having a great time and then suddenly things went from Obama to Trump!"

"I know, right? What an out-of-the-blue shit storm. Senseless, totally unnecessary, shitty turn of events."

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anti-math

The logical next target for the anti-science climate-change deniers and the anti-Vaxxers.

"Oh, so, Chris, you don't believe in climate change? You're anti-science, huh?"
"Global warming is a hoax."
"Well, when that doesn't work out for you, maybe you can become anti-math."

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Schwingularity

The exact moment your chubber crosses over to become a full-fledged hard-on

“Dammit! My hot teacher called me to the blackboard seconds after I crossed the schwingularity. I was so effing embarrassed. But hope my teacher was impressed.”

standing pike

The contortionist position that men assume so as to attempt to piss in the toilet with a hard-on in the middle of the night. The position, bent 90 degrees at the waist with legs and trunk straight, is also sometimes used in yoga.

"Despite my 3 a.m. standing pike I still pissed all over the back of the toilet."

"Well don't expect me to clean it up."

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Fakebook

Any social media site that irresponsibly allows fake news to be easily and quickly disseminated to hundreds of millions. By doing so, democratic elections are dangerously influenced in favor of candidates and their followers who are willing to lie repeatedly, create or spread outrageous rumors and race-bait. These sites and their purveyors of fake news consequently create an existential crisis for responsible journalism, the people of the United States and, now that I think about it, the entire world.

The owners pathetically claim to simply own an innocent “platform,” an excuse not unlike the owner and manager of a whorehouse claiming to only manage the building itself, oblivious and innocent of the actions occurring in the building, and how it has destroyed the nearby neighborhood, as well as the lives of so many.

“Allow me to answer this one. Mike voted for that cruel, racist psychopathic moron because he learned on Fakebook that the opponent was friends with a brown-skinned woman who routinely lunched with a Muslim.”

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wikipedic

encyclopedic

"Damn, Russ, your boundless knowledge is wikipedic!"

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poor man's lettuce

potato chips on a sandwich

"I always put poor man's lettuce on my sandwiches because potato chips stay crisp a helluva lot longer than stupid lettuce."

"Yeah, exactly. Why buy lettuce that lasts only like 3 days when chips will last weeks?"

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