The Harkness Society

This is an exclusive society in which the elite, sexually active members of Phillips Exeter Academy have sex on top of a harkness table (these auspicious tables are located in every classroom). This is a time honored tradition that no senior should graduate without. Now, that's something to think about during class.

Too bad I can't put " President of The Harkness Society" down on my college application.

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getting fives

a widespread custom at certain boarding schools in which sexually frustrated teenagers awaken at five AM, usually on Sundays (only hardcore kids have the stamina to practice this ritual on the weekdays and make it through classes), in order to hookup with another to evade the unjust coed rules and the prowling faculty. this habit is usually exercised by either the desperate or incredibly horny. (sixes, and six thirties have also become prevalent in these societies for the sleep deprived)

After she dumped him, he was getting fives every morning with different girls to rebound.

This Sunday, I got fives and then headed off to church.

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v's

Short for "visitations" . At most boarding schools, including Phillips Exeter Academy, permission must be sought to entertain a member of the opposite sex in their dorm rooms. Strange rules must be followed at that time:
1. The door must be propped open, although a flip flop wedged between the door will suffice in some dorms
2. Lights must be on. Clearly light deters sexual activities
3. 3 feet must be on the ground at all times (this allows the girl to cross her legs and thus prevent penetration, though the tricky ones just do it standing up)
4. This must happen between 7-8pm, after dinner, when lethargy (aka food coma) is setting in and sex drive is at its lowest.

GIRL: "Hey Miss Blah, can I get v's please?"

MISS BLAH: "And who is this gentleman caller??"

GIRL: "This is {insert hottie's name here}"

BOY: "yo"

MISS BLAH: "No drugs, sex, or rock and roll. Maybe a little rock and roll, but keep it quiet please. I'll come by and pop in at the most awkward moment"

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