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When your girlfriend is nice to everyone else bar you whilst on her period
Jane went from crying and wanting to kill me to resembling Mother Theresa as soon as her friend phoned, I put this down to her selective PMT
Passing wind, whilst sitting on the toilet in case follow through occurs
Jane didn't trust the vindaloo she had just eaten, would she follow through are not.. a safety fart was the only viable option
To masturbate prior to sex thus increasing ones stamina during intercourse
John had not had sex for some time. He better have a stamina wank, or this could be over very quickly indeed
Sex moves copied from viewing to much porn, to spice up life in the bedroom, similar to watching Rocky and twatting your sister
Sex was getting boring with Jane, John decided to try some extreme porngerism to liven her up a bit.
When an over weight underdog with a dad bod, rises against all the odds, in what seems an impossible scenario, giving over weight men all over the world hope
I can't believe big Dave , RUIZED that bully of a nightclub bouncer last night
To shit without needing to wipe
John had just experienced the greatest clean shit ever, he just new he wouldn't have to wipe his ase
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