roadtrip remnants

Roadtrip remnants are basically the trash left lying in your car after concluding a long roadtrip, usually with a few friends in tow. They usually consist of, but are not necessarily limited to, (half) empty bags of potato chips, food crumbs, empty soda cans/bottles, food wrappers, fast-food drink cups, and maybe a condom or two.

After coming back from Utah last weekend, I spent an hour cleaning the roadtrip remnants out of my car.

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march madness

An overrated, overhyped college basketball tournament. Every March, this tournament is shoved down our collective throats by sports media (who should be covering the NHL playoff chase and MLB Spring Training instead), and results in everyone who buys into this, spending hours filling out their precious brackets.

other guy: ZOMG MARCH MADNESSSSSSSSSSSSS DUUUUUUUDE! SUNY Catholic State is playing against Northern Colorado A&M! Got your brackets filled out?

me: Oh, screw that, I'm gonna watch some Spring Training this afternoon, and cap it off with a hockey game tonight, featuring two teams fighting for a playoff berth. I'm not going to waste my time with some stupid bracket.

other guy: *cries*

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throw to the wolves

To put someone, who is usually inexperienced, into a very difficult and extremely high-pressure situation where there is a high chance of failure.

Throw to the wolves: An example would be making an 18-year-old kid who has never pitched in the Major Leagues, take the mound against the New York Yankees in Yankee Stadium in game 7 of the World Series, with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 9th with the Yankees down by one. Oh yeah, and Alex Rodriguez is at the plate. Have fun, kiddo, you've been thrown to the wolves.

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pant

To breathe rapidly and heavily, especially after engaging in strenuous activity such as exercise.

Dogs tend to do this a lot, as they do not sweat.

Man, after hiking all the way up that canyon, I was panting heavily. I was tired.

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Stanley Cup

It weighs just 34 pounds, but takes a team of 20+ men to lift it.

The Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup in 2010.

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provo

A city in Utah that's about 90 percent Mormon (contrary to popular belief, not *all* cities in Utah are 90+ percent Mormon). Home to Brigham Young University.

I got lost in Provo, Utah a while ago.

At least Mormons are nice people and helped me find my way out.

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sammich

A sammich is a type of sandwich. However, it is not just any kind of sandwich. Any old schmuck can throw lunchmeat between two slices of bread and have a sandwich.

But no. A sammich is not just a sandwich, it is not just a meal. Sammich is a term reserved for only the holiest and mightiest of all sandwiches. A sammich is a true work of culinary art; a feast on a bun, if you will. A sammich is not made of the best ingredients; it is made of the *right* ingredients. It needs the right meats, and the right cheese(s), the right sauce, the right veggies, and the right kind of bread.

Taking footlong sub bread and throwing every kind of meat and cheese and everything else under the sun or in your kitchen pantry on it does not a sammich make. It is akin to an incohesive mishmosh of colors on an artist's easel.

Sandwiches make a good snack, but sammiches are forever.

I'm having a sammich for dinner tonight.

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