Calvin

The most unintelligent, small-penis, ugly motherfucker with a godawful taint (it smells like spoiled cauliflower) who has mommy and daddy issues and cries himself to sleep every night (just kidding he has severe insomnia, very dark circles under his eyes, and foams at the mouth, making him look like a rabid raccoon most of the time).

Chris: "God, I just stepped on my roommate's dried up, crusty contact lens."

Andrew: "That's disgusting. He's such a Calvin."

5👍 12👎

buttermybutthole

When a guy splooges/jizzes/spurts all over the butt cheeks of his sexual partner.

Only the most hardcore of people ever get their buttholes buttered.

Sophie: Hey, Phyllis how was your date earlier this week?
Phyllis: Hey, Sophie! Oooh, it was so much fun! Jared and I had a beautiful dinner by candlelight and then once we were done he butteredmybutthole so well! I had to use crutches to get around for a few days afterward...
Sophie: Okay Phyllis, nobody asked you to be so fuckin' raunchy...you could have just said it went well...
Phyllis: Sophie, you better shut your mouth hole or I'm gonna make you buttermybutthole too.
Sophie: Jeez Phyllis, don't threaten me with a good time...