Bishop's Licence

The Bishop's Licence is bestowed upon a gentleman when his wife is down the shops or otherwise engaged away from the house, and confers on him the right, nay, the duty to wank himself blind.

Bloke 1: You coming down the pub, Bruce?

Bloke 2: Nah Bruce, the missus's at her sister's, I've got the Bishop's Licence.

Cat Pub

Where cats go at night. Under certain outdoor bits of wood or corrugated iron may be found the entrance to the Cat Pub, a subterranean chamber equipped with cat chairs, a cat jukebox playing cat music, a cat bar serving cat lager and a sort of pinata made from dead mice. After several hours in the Cat Pub, the cat emerges, pissed, and spews on your lawn. (Viz, Random Hut, 1986)

Bloke 1: Bruce, where's your cat, mate?
Bloke 2: Cat Pub, mate.
Bloke 1: Go on.
Bloke 2: Oh, my word.

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