Asian Parents

They are total douchebags that have total and utter control over your life.

1.

Asshole dad: YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY NOW! YOU HAIR TOO LONG! SO UGLY!

Me: Why can't I look the way I want?

Dad: YOU LOOK LIKE GIRL! DO YOU WANT PEOPLE THINK YOU GIRL?!!?!??!?!?!

Me: How is 3 inch long hair girly?

Dad: NO MATTER WHAT, YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY! OR I TAKE YOU LAPTOP AWAY!

Me: ... *gets a lopsided haircut that makes me look like a fucking nerd. Asian parents fail. *

2.

Faghead dad: Did you do your homework today?

Me: Yeah

Dad: did you do your homework today?

Me: Yes.

Dad: did you do your homework today?

Me: YES!!!

Dad: WHY YOU YELL? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO YELL AT ME!

Me: Well obviously you couldn't hear me so I had to yell

Dad: SHUT UP!!!

Me: Fine...

Dad: YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST KID EVER. *beats*

3.

This is a true story. I was in 4th grade, and my mom was trying to teach me how to add fractions. I didn't get it at the time, and here's what happened:

Mom: Do #1

Me: *does it, gets it wrong*

Mom: WRONG! HOW YOU FORGET? DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR!

Me: I'm trying!

Mom: WATCH!!! *does problem, expects me to magically know how to do it* Now do #2

Me: *still doesn't get it, gets it wrong*

Mom: STUPID! DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR! *bitch slaps*

Me: *sobbing* I don't know how!

Mom: *angrily does the problem, and breaks the pencil in the middle* SHARPEN IT!

Me: *sharpens*

Mom: Now do #3!

Me: *gets it wrong. How does she expect me to learn this stuff in a day as a 4th grader?*

Mom: YOU ARE THE MOST STUPIDEST KID IN THE WORLD! *goes in a bitch slapping and punching frenzy*

Me: *ends up with lots of bruises*

4.

Fucktard dad: *watching '24' with me* This is the stupidest show ever. All it does is label chinese people as bad guys

Me: ... There are american terrorists too...

Dad: This is the most unrealistic stuff ever. Bullshit. How does jack survive everything?

Me: How come martial artists in chinese movies can fly? Unrealistic much?

Dad: Shut up

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