Demetri

The coolest mother fuckers ever to have been born. A Demetri has a deep laugh like mother fucking Santa Claus, except Demetris won't deliver presents to kids because they are too busy being really fucking awesome to waste their time riding a sleigh in the mother fucking sky at midnight. A Demetri has hair like mother fucking Goldilocks, except a Demetri's hair is brown, so I guess you'd call them all mother fucking Sepialocks.

"Holy shit! Look at the sky! It's Santa Claus! There's no way that could be a Demetri because Demetris are way too cool for that shit."

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