Old Grand Dad

A delicious whiskey but it has some burn when it goes down and has a way of sneaking up on you. Similarly to the way your granddad might if he was Jerry Sandusky. Hence the name for this whiskey.

Granddad came over to spend the night and we drank Old Grand Dad together. I trusted him, and the whisky was good, but each shot burned like hell on the back-end. Then I woke up to find that he was rubbing my bum.

9👍 5👎

Jerk Off Condom

An off brand, damaged, or expired condom that you would not feel safe using for sex but could still be used to jerk off into.

Man: Did you bang Amie last night or what, dude?

Dude: Hell yeah, I tore that pussy up. I was all out of condoms though so I had to grab one from your drawer.

Man: Shit, you'd better buy that slut some plan B and get your dick tested...the only thing in that drawer were jerk off condoms.

22👍 4👎