craptop

a laptop computer that is either slow or unworkable by comparison to other similar products. or is unusable due to excessive viewing of internet pornography

man 1: hey man i tried to download that attachment from your email but my craptop got a blue screen stating there was a kernel in-page stack error 3 times in a row.
man 2: fuck, man you wouldnt have that trouble if you weren't using those porn links from 4chan

41👍 2👎

Lukewarm coffee

when a mildly attractive woman invites a man into her home/apartment after a date to have coitus

man 1: how did your date go last night?
man 2: not bad if i wasn't so plastered i would have realized she was only Lukewarm coffee.
man 1: booze is a bastard
man 2: never again

Intercontinental threesome

The act of masturbating to the sound of a roommate trying to quietly fornicate a male/female that they have brought home

I hate it when Bob asks his lady friends to moan into the pillow instead of out loud, it totally ruins my Intercontinental threesome

5👍 1👎

Snorlax challenge

The Snorlax challenge is to eat six paczki's in a span of 15 minutes

Joe: did you see Bob try the Snorlax challenge? It was hilarious

Ken: yeah I didn’t think he would have even gotten to 4
Bob:(into trashcan) blueeeeehhh I hate you guys