JtHM

Short for Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. Best comic EVER. Created by Jhonen Vasquez. Johnny, Nny for short (pronounced "knee") is an insane, self-loathing serial killer who paints his victims blood on his basement wall so the monster on the other side can't escape. He has questioned his sanity many times. He also has a very strange hairstyle; most of it was burned off in Hell so it looks like two antenna. Never tick him off. Like I said he is insane. The slightest annoyance will drive him to murder you. But he is also very funny, like is Die-ary entires. He hates the word "wacky". He killed someone with a spork for calling him that. Now, you might think he just kills random people for the hell of it. He doesn't, mostly just douche bags.

As I mentioned, the creator is Jhonen Vasquez, also the creator of the Nickelodeon T.V. show Invader Zim. Another reason why parents didn't like the show was because they were aware of Jhonen's previous work (JtHM) and all its cursing and gore.

Nothing quite brings out the zest for life in a person like the thought of their impending death.

Wacky!? What the hell kind of word is that? WACKY!? I HATE that word!! Fewer words are as excruciatingly stupid!!! And used in description of me!! FOOK!

Dear Die-ary, today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender. I'm wondering if, maybe, there really is something wrong with me.

Yes, yes, yes. I'm the one that's been killing all those people. But I'm also the creative force behind Happy Noodle Boy, so forgive me and shut up.

Killing someone who's bleeding to death. Fff...fuck, you people...you...how stupid you are. Resorting to the same old, monkey brutality, afraid to look up from your bloody dicks. Afraid of transcendence. Hey...your head looks like a potato. And how stupid was I? I, actually paid attention to you! Devoted precious thought to it. God...I used to love the noises I heard in my head. Hhh...I never should've left my room...my room, out there, I almost remember it. It's gone now...along with everything else...vanishing. Heh...potato.

No more stars... no... clouds... nothing... hsssss... It's such an easy thing to say you hate something... so easy to hate... what a piece of shit I am... I ca...can't believe I went the easy way... I thought I knew... I wish I knew something... anything. Ehhh... Actually... your head looks more like a reject jellybean

Dear Die-ary, today I found out on the inside... I'm pretty fuckin' ugly.

-JtHM

24👍 5👎

GIR

One of the most kickass cartoon characters EVAH! GIR (a dysfunctional SIR, Standard Information Retrieval unit) is Zim's robot servant however he rarely obeys. Nobody knows what the G in GIR stands for, GIR said it himself in the first episode. Jhonen Vasques, the creator, said it was never meant to be found out. GIR has a short attention span and is completely random. As a disguise to not look like a robot when humans see him, he wears a green dog suit. It has pretty big eyes and a tongue sticking out. As a robot he changes. He has blue eyes, shoulders, and a blue square on his chest area. When he is in duty mode those blue parts turn red and he half-shuts his eyes, almost in an angry look. GIR loves waffles, the angry monkey show, tacos, rubber piggies, bees, and doom. He also likes to sing the Doom Song, which is a song consisting of the word doom and goes on for six months. When GIR has temper tantrums they are usually the same. He screams until he gets what he wants, seen in FBI Warning of Doom and Zim Eats Waffles. When GIR made waffles Zim didn't want to eat, he screamed until Zim ate them. This happened twice, the second time he repeatedly slapped Zim with a waffle. He has a high pitched voice that isn't annoying, but strangely cute. When he walks in his dog suit his feet squeak. Overall, hilarious and cute.

GIR quotes:
*Doorbell rings* Leprechauns!
GUESS WHO MADE WAFFLES!
I wanna watch the scary monkey show!
Yay! We're doomed!
I'm gonna huuug yoou!
You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? YOU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS?
Zim: Why was there bacon in the soap?!
I MADE IT MAH SELF!
Tell me a story about giant pigs!
Must bey the taco man!
But I NEED tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes!
All these children will go to a special place made of food. I like food.
Zim: GIR? What does the G stand for?
I don't know...
Zim: Now selfdestruct!
FINALLY! HEEHEEHEE *explodes*
You look like you need waffles boo hoo hoo.
Yay I'm gonna be sick!
I can see up it's nose.
I DON'T WANNA!...Ok!
But won't it just explode? Just like this KABLAM!
But if the big splody goes fast, won't it get all bad?
Hi floor! Make me a sammich!
I wants me a barrel of floss! I wants me two balls of glue…TO BE MY FRIENDS! And I wants to go dancing NAKED! And I wants… (hours later) ...And I want a chair made of cheese. And I want a table made of cheese.
Television is stupid!
You're intelligence is stupid!
Target found! Eliminate moron!
Do de do de do de do de do de do de doo.
DO DE DO DE DO DE DO DE DO DE DO DE DOO!
I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a bit K?
SAMMICH!
I had a sammich in my head!
You didn't have to yell at me. I just... I got rid of my sammich.
So about my sammich.

75👍 14👎

Lady GaGa

I guess people don't like her because they can't get over old people music. Get over it. I know, her music is repetitive. You don't have to make a huge deal out of it. I know, all her music has computerized sounds and no actual instruments. GET OVER IT. You don't always need real instruments to make music. And stop calling her a slut, I said this once I'll say it again: Guys sing about sex ALL THE TIME. I don't see you criticizing them. And she isn't a hermaphrodite. Her costumes are so tight you can't FIT anything in it. And don't tell me she had it removed, what person would cut off their penis? "Oh yeah, peeing is overrated, I don't need this silly old thing anymore." Get a life! The whole "satanic" thing was just plain RETARDED. "She has a lightning bolt on her face!". Yeah, I know. It was a reference to David Bowie. Go on Google right now and type in David Bowie Lightning and you will see it. "She had a checker board pattern in her paparazzi music video". It's a freaking pattern! Alice in wonderland has that pattern all over it, you don't see people calling Alice in Wonderland satanic!

Lady GaGa lyrics:

Let's play a love game, play a love game do you want love or you want fame are you in that game. Doin' the love game.
-Love Game

I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance. I want your love and all your love has revenge you and me could write a bad romance.
-Bad Romance

The fame, beautiful, the fame, cuz we want to live the live of the rich and famous. Fame, beautiful, the fame, cuz we have a taste for champagne and endless fortune.

-The Fame

Just dance, gonna be OK. Da da doo doo, just dance, spin that record babe. Da da doo doo, just dance, gonna be OK. Da da da dance, dance, dance, just ju ju just dance.
-Just Dance

And eh, there's nothing else I can say. Eh, eh. There's nothing else I can say. Eh, eh. I wish you'd never looked at me that way, eh, eh. There's nothing else I can say.

-Eh eh(nothing else I can say)

Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna think anymore. I left my head and my heart on the dance floor. Stop calling, stop calling I don't wanna talk anymore, I left my head and my heart on the dance floor. Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh stop telephoning me e e e e e e e.
-Telephone

29👍 288👎

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

A very funny movie based on the 20 page children's book, even though it's nothing like it. Flint is a very... strange... guy around 17 I'm guessing who is thoroughly hated. He lives on a very small island hidden under the A in Atlantic Ocean on the map. He has all kinds of weirdo inventions that just cause destruction. He has a monkey named Steve who has a Monkey Thought Translator so we know what he's thinking. One day Flint invents a machine,FLDSMDFR, that turns water into food, which is a good thing because all his town has to eat are sardines. Accidentally, the FLDSMDFR ends up in the sky where it sucks up the rain from the clouds and turns it into food. Everything was great until the mayor became obsessed (and really super fat) and kept ordering too much food from the FLDSMDFR. The food got bigger and bigger. It became a big threat to the island. Flint, Sam, Brent, and Manny stop the machine and everything is OK. To stop the FLDSMDFR, Flint had to stay behind to spray the opening with Spray-On Shoes, and it explodes. Flint is carried down by the Ratbirds in a very cliche way, with half his hair burnt off.

Flint's inventions:
Ratbirds (eat citizens)
Flying Car (it had no wings)
Hair Unbalder(grows hair everywhere)
Remote Controlled T.V. (walks and destroys things)
Spray-On Shoes (don't come off)

Funny quotes from Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs:
Earl Devereaux: You see this contact lens?
Flint Lockwood: Yeah?
Earl Devereaux: This contact lens represents you! And my eye represents my eye!
Puts on contact lens
Earl Devereaux: I've got my *eye* on you!

Flint Lockwood: after realizing Spray-On Shoes don't come off I wanted to run away, but you can't run away from your own feet.

Sam Sparks: Can you keep a secret?
Flint Lockwood: No.
awkward pause
Flint Lockwood: But this time, sure. Yeah.
Sam Sparks: sighs Ok. It was a really long time ago but... I, too. was... a *nerd!*
Flint Lockwood: blankly Too?

27👍 8👎

Ke$ha

My idea of a good singer. Well, I doubt she can really sing, but I like her music. I'm not going to lie, she is a pretty big slut who likes the most disgusting guys. She has a very... different style of music, like Take It Off, and Disgusting. A really big hit of hers was Tik Tok. She is blonde, likes glitter. And gold. Pretty damn hot. Has worked with 3OH!3 twice, they featured in each others songs, Blah blah blah and My first kiss.

Ke$ha lyrics:
Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up. Tonight, imma fight, till we see the sunlight. Tik tok, on the clock, but the party don't stop no, oh oh ah oh. Oh oh ah oh.
- Tik Tok

Stop talk talk talk talkin that blah, blah, blah. Think you'll be getting this not, not, not, not in the back of my car, ar, ar. If you keep talkin that blah, blah, blah.
-Blah blah blah

It's disgusting, how I love you. I can't take it, I could kill you. Cuz your messin up my name, gotta walk my talk my fame, but I just wanna touch your face. It's disgusting.
- Disgusting

Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug. Your love, your love, your love. I said your love, your love, your love is my drug, your love, your love, your love.

-Your love is my drug

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Avril Lavigne

Obviously, nobody knows crap about her. SHE'S NOT A POSER. She never said she was punk, she never related anything to being punk, it was her stupid poser fans that started that whole punk thing. Actually, there is a video on YouTube of her saying she doesn't think her music is punk. Second: her lyrics. a lot of people say she has no talent because she can't rhyme. "She wants to go home, but nobody's home." IT WASN'T ALL HER. She wrote that song with Evanescence. And if all you can see is the word home, then you need to open your freaking eyes because that is an extremely emotional song. A lot of jerkwads also think she is a slut, skank, or whore. Again, open your freaking eyes. For one, you haters are only looking for reasons to hate her. All male singers ever write about is sex, and you're not calling them sluts. Why should it be different for girls? Avril doesn't even write her songs about sex. " Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend". "Oh, oh, oh, would you, cry y y, if I let you go.". Oh yes, that's so slutty. And shut up about the whole "new Avril, old Avril" thing. She is still Avril, times change people change. So far she has three albums, Let Go, Under My Skin, and The Best Damn Thing. After her divorce she came out with The Best Damn Thing.

Avril Lavigne lyrics:
Well I'm on my own, would you leave me alone. Before I lose my mind, because you lied, and so did I
- Let Go

It's a damn cold night. Trying to figure out this life. Won't you, take me by the hand take me somewhere new. I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you.
- I'm with you

She wants to go home, but nobody's home. That's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go. To dry her eyes, broken inside.
- Nobody's home.

Why should I care? Cuz you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone. You, you need to listen. I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone.
-Losing grip

He was a skater boy, she said see you later boy, he wasn't good enough for her. She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space, she needed to come back down to Earth.
-Sk8r Boi

You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it. How does a memory so close to me just fade away? All this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending.
-My happy ending

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay. This moment is perfect, please don't go away. I need you now. And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by.
-Innocence

22👍 198👎

Avril Lavigne

My favorite singer. She is NOT a poser, like a lot of people are saying she is. They say she thinks shes punk. Can you tell me when she ever said she was? She never did. Avril is not a poser. People are also calling her a skank/ slut. Really?

Her worst lyrics:
Hey hey you you I don't like your girlfriend no way no way think you need a new one.

(also in Girlfriend) Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious, and hell yeah I'm the mother fucking princess.

Listen up. She wrote the song when she was drunk. Now don't get all mad at her because she had a couple drinks, EVERYBODY does. I'm talking EVERYBODY. Just because she's famous it doesn't mean she can't drink. People also criticize her for her song Makeup. Lyrics:
I'm not wearing any makeup, I'll be what I am.
They yell at her because she likes to wear dark makeup. It's a metaphor, dumbass. People also say she can't sing a note. Thats only because a lot of her music from her newest (and most different) album, The Best Damn Thing. First of all, that was after her divorce. She is going to be a little affected after a divorce. Anyway, a lot of her older music, from Let Go and Under My Skin, was different. I have to admit she was singing better music then. It had a lot more meaning and was sung better. It's only that music was never really popular.

Oh oh oh, would you leave me alone? Before I lose my mind, because you lied, and so did I. Oh oh oh, would you cry y y if I let you go? -Let Go, album Let Go

She wants to go home, but nobody's home. That's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go. To dry her eyes, broken inside. -Nobody's Home, album Under My Skin

Your not not not gonna get any better, you wont wont wont you wont get rid of me, never. Like it or not even though she's a lot like me, were not the same. And yeah, yeah, yeah I'm a lot to handle, you don't know trouble I'm a hell of a scandal. I'm me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen, I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen. -The Best Damn Thing, album The Best Damn Thing.

See the difference in Avril Lavigne's three albums?

22👍 231👎