PMD

Policy Manual Douche
In the workplace it refers to a middle-manager without the slightest education or wherewith-all to make, and stand by, a decision on their own. The PMD's greatest operational crutch is the company policy manual. Their only quality is having the ability to summarize rules and regulations that were written by someone else. A PMD fears repercussions from upper management and therefore stifles the possibility of a cheerful and productive atmosphere in the workplace. Without the capacity to think independently and offer viable real-world solutions to problems the PMD can literally be replaced by a 30 page company handbook.

PMD: I gotta mark you as being tardy this morning.
John: What? I stay late four days a week on my own recognizance.
PMD: Sorry, my hands are tied. You know the rules. Besides, corporate is coming down on me for allowing you to slide.
John: Sounds good. I'll also stop working overtime voluntarily since the rules state my hours as 9-5 with a 1 hr lunch.
PMD: Wish I could help you out.
John: You just did.

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Moyack

(mo'-yak) (long o sound in first syllable)

1. Derogatory name given to a close friend, family member, or coworker as they're doing something incorrectly or unsafely. Spoken directly toward them as a friendly means to belittle them or their actions.

2. A family friendly means to replace cuss words like dumba**, dips***, *ucktard, etc.

To a coworker: "Hey Moyack...be careful, dont hit your head this time."
To a kid: "Clean your room Moyack and then we'll go out for pizza."
To a friend: "Dude, watch this Moyack on the skateboard...he's not gonna make it."

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Scatastrophe

A catastrophe related to or with direct involvement of scat.
Can also be used analogously as to describe a situation of catastrophic failure, but slightly worse and possibly with a little scat sprinkled on top.

1. Last night Chris had the chili cheese habanero bean and salsa dip along with a few gin and tonics which resulted in this morning's scatastrophe.

2. The most famous scatastrophe of all time is probably 2 girls 1 cup.

3. It's horrible to see a crane collapse on a building, but for that building to be an old folk's home is a scatastrophe.

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suit-porn

Graphs, charts, spreadsheets, and power point presentations illustrating vague descriptions of corporate growth, fiscal decline, projected expenditures, etc. Typically those involved in authoring such empty and meaningless propaganda claim six-figure salaries yet produce no tangible profits, capital, or services for their organization which offsets the aforementioned salary.

Chad: You happen to walk by Harold's office this morning?
Mike: Yeah, I saw it.
Chad: Full blown PPT presentation on the wall.
Mike: Meaningless and boring eh?
Chad: Suit-porn extraordinaires.
Mike: Bet it took Bob everything he had to keep his pants on.
Chad: Shea.

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Reciprocal Guilt

1. The act of lashing out at another as a result of one's own guilt. 2. Justifying one's own misdoings by pointing out the actions of others whether true or not.

Simone was cheating on Chris. When she found out Chris was talking to another girl, Simone went ballistic with reciprocal guilt and accused him of all kinds of stuff even tho it wasnt true!!

Food Nerd

One who knows about the latest restaurant in town and has basic knowledge of it's menu selection. They brag about the newest restaurants and the latest apps. These 'foodies' also tend to have the latest app that tells them about the latest restaurant. Typically they're overweight and use overpriced restaurant entrees to temporarily quell their inadequacies and loneliness.

Michelle: Have you been to Johnny Cocks yet??
You: Um, nah..I dont really know where that is.
Michelle: OMG, you HAVE to go! That place is amazing! They serve a dish called 'shit on a shingle' and it's revolutionary
You: Ok, sounds good I guess...but I'm saving my money for some new running shoes. I'm not really a Food Nerd so I guess I'm not hip to those new places that last a few months.
Michelle: Oh.

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Backer

An expression of time that goes further than "way back".

Person 1: Didn't that song come out in the late 90's?
Person 2: No dude. .. you gotta go even backer than that. ... we talkin mid 80's.

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