A pubic cut on a man who is relatively hairy, he shaves his entire pubic region and leaves the hair on the rest of his body. This gives a bald spot effect as though a woodsman has been playing silly buggers.
Guy A: "You need to check out my pubes man, gave myself a bit of a trim"
Guy B: "That's nothing, check out my cheeky woodsman!"
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When a group of friends find a dead bird (famously a grouse) the day after the night before whilst still relatively intoxicated and decide t'would be a good idea to use it to cause mischief and/or shennanigans. This could involve a good slap or as it should be known a grousin' to an unsuspecting pedestrians face! Alternatively you could dump it in a public urinal or in your flatmates frying pan. It helps if you drive a soft top car with the roof down playing the greatest hits of Justin Bieber and Baby Alice.
Billy Joel: "Shit dude, me and the guys got totally wasted last night and this morning we went for a bit of grousin' like you do."
Steve: "Grousin', what's that?"
Billy Joel: "You know, when you find a dead bird by the side of the road and use it to cause all sorts of crazy mischief!"
Steve: "Dude wtf is wrong with you? I hope you get caught"
Billy Joel: "I really don't know man, I hope we do too otherwise we'll never learn!"
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Little Jam Monster!
Named after a girl who loves jam more than anything ever!
An LJM loves jam unconditionally and may put it on all sorts of random food produce.
Eg 1
Laura: OMG pass me the jam, I needs to put it on this tuna steak!
Jacob: Your such an LJM
Eg 2
Daniel: Wow look at that girl go to town on that pot of jam
Jacob: Yeah shes a little jam monster!!!!
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A yellow wank is necassary when a regular wank just isn't going to be enough and usually involves loading up the dirtiest Asian porn the internet has to offer and wanking yourself into a coma.
Abuse of the yellow wank is not advised and it should only be used as a monthly treat. Binge drinking is attributed as the most probable cause of the 'yellow wank' urge.
James: "I cannot wait to get home guys, then it's straight upstairs for a reet session of slap and tickle"
Isaac: "To be honest James I think the only thing that's gonna calm these urges is a yellow wank"
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An expression to describe someone who claims to be skint all the time to avoid spending cash when they are actually minted.
Eg 1
James: Do you think Jeremy will want to come to the cinema?
Jacob: Yeah he will but he'll pull the whole skintminted routine.
James: That's true, he'll want to wait for orange wednesdays.
Eg 2
Jeremy: Dude, I'm gonna have to ask for some diesel money, really struggling for cash at the minute.
Isaac: *cough* skintminted *cough*
Jeremy: What did you say?!
Isaac: Nothing just clearing my throat.
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A prestigious title given to whom ever is the first to be sick once a drinking session has commenced.
Hey guys, the reigning champion chunder queen Isaac still hasn't chundered. I guess it's anybodys game... Oh wait, he's claimed it!
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Abbreviation for Feline AIDS.
Cat AIDS in lamence terms.
Eg 1,
Isaac: Have you heard about Big Tom?
Joe GT: You mean Jeremy's cat?
Isaac: Yeah, hes got FAIDS.
Eg 2,
Mr Clifford: Remember the time we found that bag of excrement at my house?
Jacob: Shit yeah, we're lucky we didnt catch FAIDS!
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