Emogitis

A brain disease that causes the person affected by it to act like an Emo or a Goth. It is highly contagious and can be spread through any of the following methods:
Sex,
Breathing,
Sneezing or coughing,
Licking,
Spitting,
Farting,
Burping,
or shitting on a persons face.

Symptoms of Emogitis:

EMOGITIS SYMPTOMS:

STAGE1: You begin stabbing and cutting yourself, aswell as others. This may also be defined as slitting your wrists to relieve the pain. Which is the most dipshit retarded thing ever because by cutting yourself you make yourself feel more pain you utter dumbass. If this is you, then your an ass and jesus hates you.

STAGE2: You begin listening to crappy emo bands like evanessence. Anyone not under the influence of emogitis will realize that all her songs sound the same, like crap. .

STAGE3: You start wearing all black clothing and eyeliner with painted nails like a f*ggy man-girl. This is by far the most common stage. For women, its the exact opposite almost. They will start dressing all blac in dyke clothing and are usually fatass hippos who tiny Invader Zim T-shirts cannot contain the mounds of blubber bursting from within.

STAGE4:You begin writing crappy shitty emo poetry that when read sounds like youve been smoking pot in the cemetary after attending an MCR concert. Which is usually what alot of MCR fans do, because its the only way to make MCRs music make any sense. When the cops find your naked ass passed out from humping a tombstone you THOUGHT was amy lee, be sure to shout: "Im not Okay! (I promise)"

STAGE5: You and your friends look like a bunch of Transexual KISS fanatics. nuff' said about this.

STAGE6: You think "Good Charlotte" makes good music. Which they don't, douchebag.

Stage7: Slumming

Stage8: Having sex with dead deer/and or dead horses. you sick bastard.

DANGER: EMOGITIS AFFECTS MILLIONS.

CURES:

Cure1: You must find a dead cow and hump it for 50 hours straight while listening to Benny Hill music, prefferably the song "Yakety Sax".

Cure2: A direct hit to the testicles, balls, gonads, family jewels, nuts, twins, sack, jew gold, nutsack, moneybags, teabag or whatever the hell you prefer to call them. A swift kick to the balls cures everything. However if its a woman than there only hope is to go back to Cure # 1.

Emogitis Victim:
Hi my name is bob and im cutting my wrists.

Sam: Hi my name is sam and im kicking bob in his balls.

Emogitis Victim(bob): wow that hurts like a bitch, thank god im cured.

Emogits Victim#2(Amy):
Hi my name is amy and I have emogitis but no balls, what should I do?

Sam: Hump a dead cow for 50 hours wile listening to benny hill music.

Emogitis Victim#2(Amy):
Im humping a dead cow now, only 50 hours left to go.

17👍 18👎