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"By eck, Betty, get that egg barm down your neck and get your sen outside, there's blue sky and a lovely bit of Northern Crack in the sky."
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A lady who appears a flaxen-haired beauty when viewed from behind, but when turns round is capable of frightening horses and small children.
Wow, mate, look at that bird over there with the gorgeous hair. I'm going to ask her for her number. (Lady turns around). Oh fuck it, she's a blonster. Mission abort!
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A frenetic, desperate foxtrot often performed by those who have imbibed a popular, over-the-counter laxative. Designed to keep the trains outside the station, 'dancers' frequently 'feel the rhythm' when the prospect of reaching a public convenience in time is remote.
'Man, did you see that guy working it on the Tube. I think he was doing the dulco dance!'
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A bizarre and disturbing affliction restricted to the female population and brought on by rapid aging/degeneration. Sufferers develop vertically lined, Pinocchio-like semi-detached mouths that may or may not be operated using invisible strings above their heads. The super-morbidly obese are normally safe from Puppet Mouth, with the notable exception of brontosaurus-boned Heather from Eastenders.
'Hell, Jools, can you turn the channel over? I can't look at that old crow Deirdre's Puppet Mouth any longer, it's ruining Corrie for me!'
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