multitask

doing more than one thing at once.

It is a common fallacy that women are good at multitasking, and men are bad at it. The actual truth is, that men like to do things properly, so they do them one at a time and give them their full attention. Women on the other hand, are happy to do a half-assed job.

'What happened to your car?'
'oh, that. my wife was multitasking - parking and talking on the phone at the same time.'
'oh, well i hope it was an interesting conversation, because she parked a bollard into the side of the car.'
'no, she was talking to me on the phone, and she was really distracted by trying to park.'
'oh. how efficient.'

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flambitious

flamboyant and ambitious.

Commentator one: "World cup final, sudden death penalty shoot out, if he misses this, it's all over. And look at this, he's just put on a blindfold."
Commentator two: "Flambitious."

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Distraccident

An accident caused by someone being distracted. The distraction is usually an incredibly hot chick. Happens frequently when driving and you do not notice the traffic has stopped in front of you because you are too busy staring at some beautiful peice of ass. Not limited to driving situations.

1. Wow, look at those legs. She should not be walking by the side of the road - that is a distraccident waiting to happen.

2. Barman 1: Oi you fartknocker, you just poured beer all over my leg cause you weren't looking.
Barman 2: sorry mate, it was a distraccident. Look at that hottie leaning on the arcade machine.
Barman 1: fair play.

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grief thief

when people feel sad about something that doesn't really affect them, just because the enjoy feeling sad. most of the population do it when someone famous dies. people pretend to know the deceased, or have some connection with them, just so they can enjoy some grief.

Example 1. When JLB Credit goes under in the TV series Peepshow, Jeremy is sad even though he has only been working there for a couple of hours.
Mark: You're free loading on my trauma. You're a grief thief.

Example 2.
Person 1: Why are you wearing black and crying?
Person 2: Didn't you hear? Trevor that we used to go to college with died.
Person 1: What? And? You never even spoke to him in four years of going to college with him, and I seem to recall you thought he was a knob jockey. you have had no contact with him for the last 7 years and his death will have exactly no impact in your life what-so-ever. you're such a grief thief.

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you tube train

when you visit the popular website you tube. after looking at one video, you get distracted into watching an interesting looking video in the 'related videos' section. Another distraction follows, and another, and so on and so on, until you discover that you has spent a surprising amount of time, and are now watching something totally unrelated to what you went on there for.

Example 1: i've got about ten minutes to kill, so i think i'll hop on the you tube train and see where it takes me.

Example 2: you'd never believe where the you tube train just took me. i went on to do my favourite old search of 'fat kid falls', and i ended up watching a video of a dog dancing on it's hind legs to the james bond theme music. what an awesome world we live in.

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drunkaroo

Similar to the popular children's game 'buckaroo', where you take turns to add small loads onto a toy mule that eventually kicks everything off, at which point the person who was in the act of adding something loses. 'Drunkaroo' tends to happen at social functions where there is alcohol a-plenty. When one member of the party reaches the stage of passing out due to excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages, they become the mule, and the rest of the assembled group get ready to play drunkaroo. Turns are taken at placing things on the mule like coats, bags, full pint glasses, furniture, etc, until at some point (s)he comes to, throws everything off in an angry drunken sulk, and then more often than not rolls over and passes out again, at which point you can play the next round. Happy days.

Sweet, Ellie has passes out again, lets play drunkaroo.

or

me: we've been playing drunkaroo with bryan for about an hour, and there's nothing left in the house to put on top of him.
mikey: nothing that is, apart from the sofa.

grufflenut

Dried nuggets of poo that are attached to the bum hair around your anus. Also known as dangleberries.

-Dude, can I borrow your comb.
-Sure, here you go.

10 mins later

-Thanks man, I had a couple of real persistent grufflenuts that I couldn't get out without a comb.
-No worries. You dick.

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