ark of the covenant

1. A person, object, or situation of great interest and possible value that possesses too great a risk to be approached or otherwise disturbed.

2. A situation in which the answer while tantalizing is far too disturbing for the asker to truly desire to know.

1) "That girl is gorgeous."

"She's a sexual harrassment attorney. Ark of the Convenant, bro."

2) "I wonder why Jason collects doll heads and does taxidermy."

"Ark of the Covenant!"

zero out

To go to sleep i.e. reduce one's consciousness to zero.

I was going to go to work, but I masturbated with Atari paddles until I zeroed out. sleep exhaustion tired conk out zero out

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who's that pokemon

"Who's that pokemon" is a confusing sexual strategy wherein the initiator yells his own name instead of the name of the unfortunate woman who has been duped into this situation much in the way a common pikachu or bulbasaur can only utter variations of its own name.

Pro: less likely to call girl by wrong name, when alternated with grunting it fills long silences, you've just gotten out of any false commitments you made because she will never talk to you again

Con: Have to remember what name you told her

"I pulled a "who's that pokemon" on a bar girl last night. Totally forgot I gave her a fake name and she thought I was calling her Frank."

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porcupine

The act of taking a live porcupine (also called the quill pig) and throwing it at an unsuspecting passerby. It is frequently used as a method of revenge on someone who has recently committed a grievous offense.

I porcupined Ryan last Thursday. He had it coming.

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