chuck norris

an awesome, kickass, bad mothafucka. Some facts:

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters. And when I say knit, I mean kick. And when I say sweaters, I mean babies.

Before the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks in his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is 10 feet tall, weighs 2 tons, breathes fire, could eat a hammer, and can take a shotgun blast standing.

There is no creationism. There is no evolution. There are only the species that Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparallelled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was complete, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and stole his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, admits he should have seen it coming and couldn't stay mad for long. The now play poker every tuesday.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. That has nothing do do with his ancestry. The man ate a whole indian.

Chuck Norris has a word for people he puts in a coma--"lucky."

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veganism

A violation of nature. Humans, like other species, have evolved with the fortune of the ability to digest meat and vegetables, and this should be used. All the vegans seem to obsess over the lives of the fish that are caught and dried and sent as food to famine-stricken regions, and seem to not care that if they offered a carrot to a polar bear, it would devour them. But then again, maybe the bears are smarter.

Save a cow, eat a vegan.
End veganism!

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