Coley's Mom

a well-seasoned whore

Jon: Yo wassup man?
Andres: Just playing some Smash Bros.
Jon: Aw man! I'll totally own you like Coley's Mom. Throw me a stick!

15👍 18👎

superman

When you fuckin' have a hard on after you wake up in the morning because you gotta pee and the only way you can relieve yourself without pissing all over the bathroom is to put both hands on the wall in front of you and then lift your right or left leg so that you penis can point straight down into the toilet bowl...and release

I accidentaly knocked your toothbrush over with my leg when I superman-ed this morning.

239👍 320👎

TC

TC (Time Check)

When you're fuckin' too lazy or busy to look at your watch or the clock on the wall and you yell out "TC" to a friend nearby to tell you. This is usually done while driving and you are busy concentrating on the road.

Bob: Shit man! I can't find the restaurant. Driving in NY is crazy!
Sue: It's ok honey...just don't kill us.
Bob: Are we late? TC!
Sue: 5:04
Bob: Good we'll make it in time. Let's screw.

10👍 18👎

Seesaw parenting

When one spouse is working the other parent is in charge of all things parenting:cooking, cleaning, diapers, taking them to school, packing their snacks and lunch, etc. then after a set period of time, the other parent takes over to switch roles.

Yeah I’m not sure what happens in the mornings and how they get to school…. But I do dinner and bedtime. It’s a bit of seesaw parenting