Christian Guy Syndrome

A disorder specific to young Christian males in which strong instincts to treat females like idealized sisters-in-Christ are perpetually warring with awkward and guiltful sexual longings towards the aforementioned sisters-in-Christ.

When these sexual longings are consummated via even minor sexual affection with an actual sister-in-Christ specimen, the CGS sufferer immediately experiences such guilt that the idealization is destroyed and the sexual attraction is dramatically but temporarily repressed.

CGS manifests itself in myriad ways, including self loathing, purity oaths, increased accountability group attendance, excessive use of the word "stumbled" and unpredictable social behavior wherein the affected individual sends a strong mix of conflicting interest-signals towards any woman to whom he is attracted until she cries, screams or schedules a meeting with her high school youth pastor, who, still recovering from his own CGS, hands her a copy of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris.

Girl 1: Why is Preston so sweaty and sad looking, I thought you guys had a good date last night?
Girl 2: We did, but he kissed my forehead and our cheeks touched and then he freaked out.

Girl 1: Sounds like a bad case of Christian Guy Syndrome.
Girl 2: It's not as bad as some I've seen, but I think you're right.

tanzinsonger

A song about a dance of the same name. From the literal German, "Dance in Songer." Tanzinsongers feature lyrics describing or referring to a dance that does not yet exist, except within the song. In the act of publishing a truly successful tanzinsonger, an artist creates both a catchy tune and a dance that endures to bring groups of strangers together to move in unison for generations to come.

Examples include

The Twist
The Electric Slide
The Monster Mash

The Locomotion
The Hokey Pokey
The Cha Cha Slide
The Electric Slide
The Tootsie Roll
The Crocodile Rock
And so many others you may want to explore and try for yourself.

Tommy really didn't want to to the wedding in the first place but after joining the noted tanzinsonger, The Electric Slide, he loosened up a bit and realized he still had the moves to groove and the cold ones were pretty cold and he almost forgot about the dread and anger than animated his daily life.