granny rant

An unhinged, verbose, overdramatic rant, typically written or performed online, about a topic that could be delivered more succinctly, kindly, or effectively. Usually an expression of anger or misfortune.

Aunt Mary’s granny rant about how her epidural injections for her back never worked was incredibly annoying.

Dumpelshitskin

Someone that you know just took a giant, fat dump, but didn't wash their hands afterwords. Meant to be a demeaning remark that forces the nasty bastard to sulk back into the bathroom to wash his hands out of embarrassment.

John: *fart* ... *toilet flushes* ... *walks out of bathroom*

Bob: Christ, John! Don't be a fucking Dumpelshitskin. Wash your filthy hands.

John: OK...