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The midday facial hair growth of people who can only grow hair in a one inch swath directly under their nose.
My boss is made very uncomfortable by my Führer clock shadow.
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When a spouse cannot stand any more of their husband (or wife's) snoring and decides to sleep with their head at the foot of the bed.
I woke up looking at my wife's feet and realized we had just had a married 69. That's as close as I'm going to get after ten years of marriage.
A condition that causes all objects just outside of your normal field of vision to appear to you as food.
I thought for sure there was a plate of fudge striped brownies sitting on the table across the room. Not a striped cleaning rag. I hate being fatsighted.