No Take Backs

When at work or school you spend hours upon hours on a project and present it with excitement, but then it gets shot down or asked to be tweaked to a ridiculous level. Next time you turn in the project you call NO TAKE BACKS!

- Then your boss realizes he/she can't send it back and accepts it.
- Then they realize their GIVE BACKS were dumb and learn that the first project was great and they were just being a douche.

Win. WIn.

E-Mail 1: "Sir, here is the PDF of the ad I finished up."

E-Mail 2: "David, This is (boss) I can't seem to print the edges. Could you go back and bring the font size down and more to the center, then take the background and bring it up a smidge, then add some color. That's it. Looks good besides that!"

FAST FORWARD A WEEK LATER-

E-Mail 1: "Sir, here is the PDF of the ad I finished up. NO TAKE BACKS!"

E-Mail 4: David, This is (boss) I need some things changed in the add but since you called "NO TAKE BACKS" I will just go with it. It's actually really good. Great job!

14👍 5👎

Imposterparent

When a mom or dad (mostly a dad) secretly enjoys playing with his son or daughter's toys and watching cartoons and feeling like a child again but pretends he or she is just doing their parental duty.

Friend 1- "Whatcha doing watching Hannah Montana and playing GI Joes, bro?

Friend 2- "Oh, you know, gotta do the parental duty. ho-hum"

Friend 1- "dude, your kids left the room an hour ago. You're such an imposterparent."

Friend 1 (sitting down)- "Is this the episode about Hannah stealing? Give me Cobra Commander over there, man."

Fukushima'd

When a person is hit with a tidal wave of life problems and eventually has a melt down.

Guy - "I have so may exams....Im fukushima'd."

Dude 1 - "Man, I have to pay insurance and rent out of this same paycheck!"

Dude 2 - "Dude, You're so fukushima'd"

Dude 1 - "Yeah. totally fukushima'd"

10👍 2👎

Half-n-Half Save

While drinking a tall can of half lemonade and half tea you save a child from drowning at the local pool, while still holding and keeping your drink ok during the rescue. - Half of your attention is on the child, Half is on your Half-n-Half.

Lifeguard 1: Chit-Chat
Lifeguard 2: Chit-Chat

(Child falls in pool)

Man: "Dang!" (jumping into pool. phone still in pocket. Half-n-Half still in hand)

(Man pulls up drowning child to pool edge)

Woman: "You saved my drowning child!"

Grandma: "Thank you sir! You pulled a Half-n-Half Save"

Man: Huh?

Grandma: "You saved your Half-n-Half while saving my granddaughter. Half of your attention was on the rescue and half was on your Half-n-Half!"

Man: "No Problem-o"

4👍 3👎

Tweener

The circular sphinxter muscles beween a left and right booty cheek.

Dude1- "Jim had to get a colonospocpy!"

Dude2- "Is that where they have to go...you know..."

Dude1- "In the tweener?"

Dude2- "yeah."

Dude2- "yep."

3👍 4👎

Friendstigator

A person who is constantly pushing you into a relationship he or she knows will be a good fit for you.

Dude 1 - "You are my best friend. You know that right?"
Dude 2 - "Yeah, you too."
Dude 1- "We should be thankful for Jay. He was such a
friendstigator. He was the only person to know we would be a good fit and have a bro-mance."

Girl 1 - "Jenny needs to stop trying to set me up for drinks
with Gabby! Dang!"

Girl 2 - " I know! She is such a friendstigator!"