One John Deere Town

A small town that once was a thriving agricultural center but is now empty with one old rusty John Deere sitting in a field of
weeds surrounded by falling down barns and houses.

Where I grew up was once a great farming community but since Grandpa died it's deteriorated to a One John Deere town.

fuck me till Tuesday

An expression of disbelief.
An expression of disappointment.
An expression of anger.
An invitation to an attractive member of the opposite sex
for a long fun filled weekend.

Horny guy: "Hi, I was standing over there admiring your beauty
when the thought came to me that maybe you would like come to my place for some wine, music and a fun weekend."
Cute chick: "That sounds interesting, I would love to."
Horny guy: "Let's get started! I want you to fuck me till Tuesday."

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make me cry

A utterance of disgust, shame, embarassment and disappoinment.
Make me cry is fuck me to tears for polite company.
See fuck me to tears.

Oh, make me cry! I missed desperate housewives again.

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painter

A skilled craftsman who applies paint and other liquid coatings to prepared surfaces.
Wears white painter's pants and a white shirt to work.
Usually travels in a white cargo van with ladders mounted on a rack on top of the van.
There are 3 levels of painter:
House painter, Commercial painter, Industrial painter.
House painter is the most common, usually an independant contractor working with a small crew.
Commercial painters generally work for a large construction company where paint is applied by sprayers with a large crew.
Industrial painters work with specialized coatings on large metal
tanks, ships & bridges.
In many parts of the country commercial and industrial painters are members of a trade union. House painters generally are not.

I hate this color in the dining room, lets call a house painter.

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ass mugger

A thief who forcibly takes liberties with your behind.
See butt bandit.

"I was walking down the street minding my own business when
this ass mugger got me."

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pound sand up your ass

A common expression in the Army during the 70's & 80's.
A phrase used by equals to tell each other off, used by superiors to shut up subordinates.
A method of dismissing a stupid person.
The only possible use when you find yourself with a stick,
a funnel, some lube and a bag of sand.
A polite way to say fuck off.

Worker: "Hey boss, why don't we shut this job done and call
it a day, I'm tired."
Boss: " How can you be tired? You haven't done a damn thing all day. Maybe you should stay home tomorrow and pound sand up your ass!"

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eat me

A phrase made famous by the 1970's movie Animal House.
The Delta House members converted a 1960's Lincoln in to
a parade float shaped like a cake with the words "Eat Me"
written like frosting across the front.
A phrase often found on etch a sketchs in toy stores.
A greater insult than bite me.

I'm going to spray paint eat me on his car.

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