egging the lawnmower

Verb

When a girl puts her period blood in every hole of your body, then uses wax to rip off your pubic hair.

Dude did you hear about when Tom's girlfriend started egging the lawnmower??

"That shit must've been so painful."

yea were besties 🥺

Term used by annoying fucking cunts, to tell the world how short their memory is.

Izzy: "👨 🦯"

Me: WHAT THE FUCK

Izzy: "???"

Me: YOU LOVE EMMY

Izzy: "yea were besties 🥺"

Me: OH MY GOD YOU FUCKING CUNT. YOU REPLIED TO ME SAYING I LIKED RADIOHEAD WITH 👨 🦯 AND YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND LOVES RADIOHEAD!!!!!

Izzy: "Oh lol sorry😅"

Alaskan Root Beer Float

Hello bakers, my name is Bitty Kembleford, and today I'll he making a special take on a summer classic: The Alaskan Root Beer Float.

Do you remember the first time you had a root beer float? I do. I must have been around 7 years old and we were visiting my grandparents in Phoenix, in the summer.

Have you ever been to Arizona in the summer? Must be why I find Sacramento so tolerable. Let's just say it's hot.

I still remember all of us greedy kids, still in our swim suits, having been cooling off in the pool all day, lined up in the kitchen, wide eyed as we watched my father pull the multicolored hankercheif out of his weenie and clap in joyful glee.

It was just last Tuesday, a year ago, that my divorce happened. Very tragic. Humorous as well.

I was a mess. I went to the store and bought vinegar, ketchup, licorice, root beer, cigarettes, and vanilla ice cream.

Fortunately, I didn't put all of that together (whew... heart attack avoided), but I did make a root beer float, one of the most classic memories of my childhood.

It seems like root beer floats have been following me everywhere. Even after dad got shot.

Now let's crack on, shall we?

I use the So Delicious Vanilla Bean Coconut Ice Cream and Virgil's Organic Root Beer for my Alaskan Root Beer Float.

Using your favorite ash tray, combine cigarettes, vinegar, and baking soda.

In a separate bowl, combine one cup of Vanilla Ice Cream, and a bottle of your Virgil's Organic Root Beer.

Heated on medium, take a pot full of boiling water, and butterscotch Jell-O Mix, and combine until the lumps of Jell-O are gone. Next, remove from heat, and add the previous ingredients. Refridgerate for two days.

After all the anxious waiting, remove your Root Beer Float from the fridge. Makes two servings (serve with ketchup).