Stache Snatch

The act of snatching a mustache from someone’s face. The stache snatcher must complete three steps to consider a stache snatch successful: 1) snatch a stache, 2) dash and 3) sell that stache for cash. When snatching stache, the most successful snatchers apply General Wang’s stratagem: the element of surprise. There’s nothing quite like a surprise stache snatch.

Kenneth and I went on a stache snatch last night. I snatched a nice Lars the Viking and he snatched a prime Snappy Dancer.

I might add this General Wallace to my stash, but I could really use the cash from this stache snatch.

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Rainbow Ralph

The act of spontaneously vomiting a rainbow, most notably when an individual’s level of thankfulness and/or excitement/joy in regards to being thankful reaches an overwhelming level. It is the highest level of thanks one person can give to another.

Thank you so much. This is so awesome, I could just rainbow ralph.

Kenneth was so excited, he rainbow ralphed.

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Bleepy Bison

An individual known for his/her foul-mouthed language much of which is bleeped by a disembodied voice or TV studio device. Bleepy Bison individuals are aware of their excessive use of expletives, but are powerless to end the behavior. The use of colorful language is almost autonomic, like breathing. Confronting a Bleepy Bison about his/her PG-13 vocabulary often leads to more obscenities and more bleeping.

Not to be confused with Byron - poet, philanderer and Bleepy Bison of his day.

I had no idea your aunt was such a Bleepy Bison.

Sweater Cat

A cat that wears a sweater. Some sweater cats have a trademark or signature sweater.

My sweater cat prefers argyle and refuses to wear mohair. He’s a vegan.

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Beaver Party

Any congregation, gathering or joining of beavers (genus Castor) to party, boogie and generally “get down.” Beaver parties are easily identified by two factors: 1) the presence of beavers and 2) hearing the German techno, beaver party anthem “Sweaty Beaver, Hot Dam.”

There’s a beaver party at my dam tomorrow at 7.

The best beaver parties happen in the hottest dams.

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De Pants Rabbit

The state of being embodied by an individual who runs sans pants through a public place while wearing rabbit ears and waving his/her pants overhead.

To reach the state of Jamaican de Pants Rabbit, one must complete the run while a by-stander recognizes the individual as De Pants Rabbit and shouts in a Jamaican accent, “Look mon. De Pants Rabbit.”

The Velvet de Pants Rabbit is another variation in which the individual completes the run completely nude.

To reach the state of Jamaican Velvet de Pants Rabbit – the highest form of De Pants Rabbit an individual can obtain – one must complete the run completely nude, while a by-stander shouts in a Jamaican accent, “Look mon. De Pants Rabbit.” Few ever obtain the Jamaican Velvet de Pants Rabbit.

Look mon. De Pants Rabbit.

During a trip to Fountain Square, we saw De Pants Rabbit.

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