Clapperclaw

An extremely sensual, albeit complicated sexual position. Those who master this are the official kings/queens of sex.

To perform the Clapperclaw, you must:

1. Begin in a basic scissor position, with each person facing upwards (this still works with men and women, a man just should penetrate his partner from this position.)

2. Slowly, each person arches their back at the same speed, lifting the scissor connection into the air

3. Lock your legs up to the knee and allow the calf to dangle.

4. The Clapperclaw has been performed.

Kevin: Yo dude, last night I totally clapperclawed a drunk chick I met

Chris: Wow man, I'm impressed.

Kevin: Yea, you should be. I then proceeded to perform the raging jot on her.

Chris: Unbelievable

8👍 4👎

German Fire Hydrant

This sexual move is very relieving, but takes a while to set up.

First, have sex with girls for a month, but before finishing, just pull out and stop.

Next, on the last day of the month, finish.

Last, watch as your sperm spews out of her ears and mouth at uncharted speeds. Like a fire hydrant.

kMurg: I just fucked a chick and gave her the ol' German Fire Hydrant.

Errybody: Dayyuummmmm boyyyyy!!!!

kMurg: Yes, yes, I know.

4👍 6👎