Linoleum Lizard

N. Term for someone else’s children who scurry around, dart underfoot, and may give you the heebie-jeebies due to the unpredictable way they move like a lizard across a linoleum floor. May be applied to your own children depending on how you’ve raised them. See also, Rugrat.

Frank: “Geez, what was that thing that just ran between my legs?!”
Larry: “That was Jim’s little linoleum lizard. He just turned two.”
Child: HSSSSSSS!!

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papanazzi

Noun. Portmanteau of "paparazzi" and "nazi." Refers to aggressive and persistent press trying to photograph celebrities. Crowds tend to cheer when celebrities punch them. May also refer to paparazzi who stand by and keep the cameras rolling while sh!t hits the fan because that's their sadistic duty.

Meg: “Did you see where Bjork attacked that reporter?”
Reg: “Yeah, but those papanazzis were bugging her.”
Meg: “... they kept filming, didn’t they?”

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christing

Adj. Non-secular. Shortened adjectival form of "Jeeeesus Christ!" Producing irritation, frustration, or annoyance on a Biblical level.

Jim: "Quit standing around and help me carry this, dude - all this plywood is christing heavy!"
James: "Aw, don't be a christing whiner, Jim."

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