Nicole

Strangest breed of the human race. Desirable kisser. Good at nothing. Rude. Plump buttcheeks. Pink rose with precisely two freckles on the left cheek and five on the right. Lovely hip bones. Normally associated with hippos. Unicorn obsessed. Loves pink. Left canine slightly shorter than the right. Five feet and four inches. Exquisite, edible face looks like it’s chiseled by Michelangelo himself. Deep, sexy voice comparable to that of CORPSE HUSBAND himself. On the left foot, third toe is longer than the rest. Two hairs growing in on the right pinky toe. Smells a bit like six day old earl grey tea. Sweats more than the average joe. Especially on her belly button. Each time it fills up, it comes pouring down for the world to see. Eats potatoes like there’s no tomorrow.

Person 1: Nicole, how are you?

Nicole: There are chunks coming out of me.

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