talent-hobby

A leisure activity that requires skill, but is not considered an actual sport because it lacks manly physical exertion.

"Andrew loves golf, it's his favorite talent-hobby."

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instinct boner

An erection that occurs when a man becomes tired, but is fighting hard to stay awake. Instinct boners often occur during boring lectures or when driving late at night and will not go away as long as the urge to sleep persists.

Origin: In order to protect their food supplies and sleeping families from scavengers, early humans evolved the process of instinct boners by frequently masturbating to stay alert while on cave watching duty.

I could not stay awake in class today. I had a huge instinct boner and I spent most of the lecture trying to sneakily tuck it under my belt.

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contourtionism

The obsessive proclivity one may have toward placing objects or body parts into areas that will seemingly accommodate the chosen item's contours while occupying the maximum volume of the empty space.

"The top of my chiweenie's head fits perfectly into my eye socket like a furry little puzzle piece."
"Why do you know that?"
"It's contourtionism; I like to see stuff go together."
"Stuff like mammal meat?"
"Ohhhh yeah."
"Gross. Leave now or we'll see how well my elbow matches your orbit."