Portland Hipster

- Does not work, "fun-employed"
- Or works in a bike shop otherwise a coffee shop (part-time)
- Wears tattered or gently used vintage crap
- Buys their jeans in the kids section
- Rides a fixi tricycle because they are overwhelmed by driving
- Pretend like they know how to actually fix bikes
- Smokes American Spirits until they cough up blood
- Drinks 2 PBR's and then complains of stomac pain in order to return to their coffin-like appartment
- Says that they go out when really all they do is lean against walls outside of gameboy-music concerts and chain smoke to avoid awkwardness from an apparent lack of social skills

I am a Portland Hipster because I told my parents that I had a job interview today, but instead all I really did was lay on a hill overlooking some train tracks and a depot drinking PBR's and smoking cigarettes. It was a cloudy day, so i wore my little-boy jeans and a pair of Ray Bans.

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