Bard College

A school for artsy fucks who like to maintain the notion that they go to a highly regarded liberal arts institution. Textbooks at Bard are used primarily as surfaces to rail lines of coke from. The college itself is in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. This is disregarded by many, as it is on the east coast, and thus "hip". 98% of Bard graduates go on to live in Brooklyn and "work in the arts".

A: Hey, man, I'm thinking about applying to Bard College.
B: I couldn't willingly approve of your decision and still call myself your friend. I met two Bard fucks named Jakee and Izaak who seemed like total dick-bags, and good representations of the school itself. Picture, if you will, the epitome of hipster: Tight pants, loves Beach House, is "in a band", and loves to "make art" (not any art of high high esteem, mind you. (think print-making)).

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