xipe totec

aztec god that wore the skin of his victims. made famous by aztec festival where hottest guy in town dances his way all around the city, up the highest temple, where he is killed and skinned (or vice verca) by the priest, who then wears the skin until it decomposes.

art history student: did you see that xipe totec sculpture.
normal person: oh god, please never mention that ever again.

6👍 3👎

llama-sita-strike-force-five

A) n: A hand gesture in which you form a llama using the 3rd and 4th fingers as the top of the mouth, thumb as the jaw and two ears consisting of the 1st and 5th fingers. Then, swaying the hand alluringly, you smack the person suddenly with an open palm while they are still trying to figure out what your doing.
B) vt: Something done to a really ugly child.

exasperated girlfriend/teacher: "i told you security does'nt want you here anymore!"
boyfriend, clearly ignoring girlfriend: "damn that child is ugly. hang on, papa bears gotta llama-sita-strike-force-five that bitch..."

34👍 5👎

ophy mayor

popular british television star from the 80's. After a brief stint on the american television series "Who's the Boss?", was blacklisted from hollywood for reportedly hitting Tony Danza. Afterwards, traveled across europe and asia, founding his new religion, Bokonism, after reading Kurt Vonnegut novels. Now retired, lives in a quiet residence in Maryland.

Kelly: "Hey, i thought i saw ophy mayor down on the mall in DC?"
Jessica: "yeah, i heard he visits the museums with his family."
crazy bag lady: "you giiiirls want a caaaaaat?!"
*both jessica and kelly flee*

mirah

one of the best lyrical artists you never heard of. or maybe you have. she lives out on the west coast, and puts on quite a show. apparently jewish and a lesbian according to wikipedia.

hipster guy: did you go to the mirah concert in dc last night?
hipster girl: no, i was busy masturbating.

30👍 24👎

squeeblejim

used in a popular Ann Fraistat play about a defective detective, squeeblejim was used by the protagonist as a way of describing how he felt in an offbeat manner. Ann Fraistat is a talented writer from the DC area.

Johnson: OH MY GOD! you were just shot! how do you feel, det. Pimbly?
det. Pimbly: squeeblejim, Rick. just plain squeeblejim.

1👍 1👎

squeeblejim

how do you feel right now?

Psychiatrist: How do you feel right now?
Detective Pimbley: squeeblejim.

tickle tactics

to attack someone with tickles rather than real hits, for fear of losing their friendship if you hurt them seriously. also used just for fun to bother people.

I was going to punish her arm with birthday licks, but i decided tickle tactics might be better.

6👍 2👎