Whittling

To first beat a cock (10-11inches) with a tenderising mallet and then insert it in Jim's ass.

Last night we drank some Cuba libres, I didn't think much would come of it, but he must have slipped me a roofie 'cos later we did some whittling.

From the preferred practice of James R Whittle. '''James Whittle''', 1901-2001, was a pioneering champion of homosexual rights. Born in Bristol without teeth, his early years were further hampered by his mother's sour breast milk. Many say it is this experience with breasts that turned him to the cock. Whittle was a dedicated '''cock smoker''', his most famous remark on the subject being "if god had not intended us to chew pole she would have made us without tonsils". Considered the godfather of the homo intelligentzia, Whittle was also a proponent of the Manchester Drum and Bass scene and a specialist in HIV medicine. Which broguht new meaning to the phrase "to bring one's work home with one". Which is exactly what happened. Whittle's life ended as tragically as it began when the progression of AIDS required that his ass be removed. Without his work or his ass, J. Whittle was denied the two things that brought him pleasure, and, on the 24th of December 2001 he took his own life by the bizarre method of cooking and eating an entire St Bernard. The so-called '''"Christmas eve poof-icide"''' has since become infamous even in the wider heterosexual community for reasons not least of which being the general association of homosexuality with Christmas eve.

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