Perry

Short for Aiperi, a little lesbo frog gorl. Her birthday is 4/20, and she is secretly having an affair with Inej from Shadow and Bone. She is also an alien spy from Venus. Unfortunately, she is always cold, even when in direct sunlight. This is why she always needs to be thawed,and microwaved, before being taken anywhere. She has many very cool friends, among them Taya the imaginary galaxy, Fia the spelling bee champion, and Jackie who is scrawny but can drop kick you within seconds. Perry will knowingly join a cult, complain about doing precalc AS A FRESHMAN, and all while maintaining a profound hate for mushrooms.

Jackie: hey Perry how are you
Perry: ...
Jackie: Perry?
Perry: I wore ripped jeans just to piss my mom off
Taya: hey Perry I stole your pride flag

15👍 8👎

Roast my meat

The act of slowly roasting one's meat to acquire a tender, soft, and moist substance.

Something your sugar daddy (especially a sexy one named Obehi) might do when they cook you the best 8 hour ribs this world has ever seen.

Brad: Yo chad can you roast my meat
Chad: Bro thats kinda gay (derogatory)
Brad: 😏

Jackie

Jackie is who everyone thinks is the mom of the friend group. She is unbelievably cool (like Taya), but unlike Taya can actually offer good life advice. Jackie is not tall, but what she lacks in height she makes up for in the incomparable superiority of her style. Jackie is the kind of person who can give the best music recommendations (especially if you like 90s grunge and rock), and who you probably would think was in college if you didn't know her. Jackie is that one person who everyone wants to be, but at the same time wants as their personal life coach and best friend. Not to be confused with "to Jack", something very... different.

Perry: guys, if you had to be stranded on an island with one person here, who would you choose?
Taya:...
Fia:...
Literally everyone: JACKIE

7👍 2👎