Bluetoothless

The act of driving in the car without your bluetooth earpiece.

Dude, I've gotta get off the phone because there's a cop sitting along side the road and I'm bluetoothless.

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Bruised the toilet

To leave a brown streaky skid mark on the bottom of the toilet that is so caked on after taking a poo that the water from flushing won't remove it.

Husband: I'm going to head downstairs and take a deucer.
Wife: Sounds good.
--Wait 15 minutes --
Husband: Do we have a toilet brush somewhere I just bruised the toilet.