Swoop

Noun. A high form of the dillettante class, a person who posts frequently on websites (or may actually moderate a forum) dedicated to the sport he/she purports to have a high skill / knowledge level in. Usually, he/she will "swoop" into a thread and offer stupid advice, or threaten to ban the thread entirely if it does not back up his anectdotal beliefs.

What a dick! Does this guy actually ride, or does he just sit around all day drinking mineral water, farting into his bib shorts, taking cheap shots at people who can ride circles around him? What a Swoop!

Simp

Short for Simpleton.

Noun

A foolish or gullible person.

Keith is such a simp, he couldn't think his way out of a paper bag.

Stop looking at me like a simp!