Sigma Male

A term used by Beta Males to trick themselves and people that don't know better into thinking they're just "Really really quiet Alpha Males, guys!"

Person 1: Hey, Beta! Give me your lunch money!

Person 2: I-I'm not a Beta! I'm a Sigma Male!

Person 1: You know that when you use stupid made up internet words I have to give you a swirly, right?

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Satire

A satire is the rubbery sock wheel of a car wears that has recently been informed it's dog died, and is about to make itself into a tire swing if you know what I mean.

Person 1: Poor thing, it's going through a rough patch in it's life. It's definitely a satire.

Person 2: You mean sad tire?

Person 1: Fuck.