tony

toilet paper. Tony is a noun and a thing but not a person’s name in the context of toilet paper. As something more personal though, we piss and shit all over tony. We cry our tears into tony and tony can make our lives hell by leaving us the quarter sheet for the clean up of a three coil spoiler. In essence tony can be trusted unless tony’s pillowy softness is breached. Sometimes tony hurts our buts. But for that pain tony is both a blessing and curse.

I’m worried about fights caused by the lack of tony on the grocery store shelves.